Why do I believe in “neuroaffirming therapy”?

On my ‘about’ page, I state that “I am a passionate believer in neuroaffirming therapy which has, without doubt, changed my own life”. But what does that mean?

Personally, my earlier experiences with therapy were difficult.  I was told “you just need to think differently” and left feeling even worse than when I arrived, which was quite the ridiculous achievement.  From my clumsy depression diagnosis in my late teens through to my diagnosis of level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder in my late 40s, I was largely in the dark about how my brain worked.  I felt like I was a huge problem, misunderstood and masking possibly even more than normal. I was performing to get therapy ‘right’.  Being able to unravel it all with a therapist who ‘gets it’  has been so powerful for me. 

A ‘neuroaffirming’ approach recognises neurological differences, such as being Autistic, ADHD and other types of neurodivergence, as natural variations of the human experience rather than deficits to be corrected or cured from.  This, to me, is crucial.  You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed.

As a therapeutic counsellor, my approach tends to be person-centred and I find that this gels really well with neurodivergence.  Person-centred therapy, developed in the 1940s by Carl Rogers, believes that each individual will, given the right conditions, become their true self and reach their full potential (what he called self-actualisation). For that to happen, the person-centred therapist will work with three things-

Unconditional Positive Regard - accepting and valuing you and what you bring,

Congruence - honesty and transparency in the therapeutic relationship

Empathetic understanding - seeing your viewpoint clearly. 

Person-centred counselling will be led by you, with you being seen, heard and accepted for exactly who and where you are.  It will explore you, truly you, your feelings, core beliefs, behaviours and view of yourself and others.  

Neurodivergent people, myself included, often arrive at therapy having spent years being told that they should be different, feeling or being told that they don’t fit, that they should be a certain way.  I know, I’ve been there.  I found that a shift from being evaluated and criticised to being seen and believed, was incredibly healing and empowering.  

Being diagnosed later in life can be messy.  A friend compared it to living in the dark for years, then turning on the big light.  You view things with clarity but you can also see the cobwebs, cracks and dust.  It takes time to get things the way you’d like them to be.  And that’s ok.

So, this is why I am passionate about it.  It’s why I provide a space for you to work towards unmasking and figuring it all out.  If you need to take your shoes off, swear, bring a fidget toy or hug a giant coffee cup, please do.  It’s ok to be confused, fed up, hopeful, jubilant or scared.  It’s ok to blurt out years of words because you finally can.  Therapy is the last place that you should feel like you need to mask or perform.